Walking with Jesus through the norms in our society 

Everyday we are tempted by worldly desires, values, or expectations. As Christians we are to be set apart, meaning we are in the world but should not be of the world. So although these worldly things may seem tempting at times, we cannot give into them because we know God’s ways are higher and better than our ways. Going against the grain and abstaining from the norms of today’s society might have its repercussions like mentioned in John:

John 15:19

“If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.”

But ultimately, we are instructed to separate ourselves from the worldly practices and commit ourselves to Christ and His ways.

2 Corinthians 6:14-18

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, ‘I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.’”

So we know it’s important to separate ourselves from worldly things but what does that look like in today’s society?

When I was in high school and college it was the norm to Snapchat, text, or hangout with multiple people of the opposite sex even if you were in a committed relationship. It was the norm to go out and party or hangout at someone’s house with others even if your significant other was not around. Even though that may be the norm in today’s society, we as Christians have God’s word to help us discern what is healthy and sustainable in a relationship. In my opinion from what I’ve seen and what me and Devin have experienced, putting yourself in those situations with people of the opposite sex is not conducive to a healthy relationship. I remember feeling uneasy about certain situations and then I felt like if I said something about it I would be the “crazy, controlling girlfriend” because this is just how things were. But I was wrong. Just because that’s how things were/are doesn’t mean they were right for my relationship with God or with Devin. When we are in those situations we’re opening the door for a lot of possibilities that do not show respect to your relationship or to God’s will for your life. You may think that it’s an innocent situation or that you wouldn’t do anything wrong but sin has a way of pulling you in and the best thing you can do is remove yourself from the situation completely. Sin begins in the heart, and even being tempted by lustful desires around the opposite sex is already considered adultery because it is straying from the committed relationship. 

Matthew 5:27-28

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Although, the norms or rules around dating and relationships might be more “open” or “loose” in today’s society, it does not mean we as Christians need to conform to them. It’s important to watch where your eyes go even before you’re dating or married as well. Ensuring that you are setting yourself up for a Biblical relationship versus a worldly relationship makes all the difference. At the beginning of mine and Devin’s relationship we definitely were not following God’s ways and it led to a lot of insecurities, lack of trust, jealousy, and eventually- our breakup. It wasn’t until we got saved and read God’s word that we started to see how God wanted us to live. Looking back it’s clear how misleading and hurtful the worldly norms surrounding relationships really are in today’s society and it’s because they are rooted in sin and not in Christ. 

You might get push back from friends to continue living by society’s norms, or you might still be tempted to chat/hangout with others of the opposite sex because “it’s harmless”, but consider if the situation you’re in will honor God or honor your relationship. Opening one door often leads to more sin than you initially anticipated. To others you might not seem “fun” anymore (been there), but what you’re building with Christ is a lot more important, fulfilling, and everlasting than a night out with others and being seen as “fun” by their standards.

Another norm I’ve been convicted of (which is also a worldly desire that is frequently warned about in the Bible) is wanting to store up possessions or wealth here on Earth. Now this one is difficult because I am 100% guilty of purchasing way too much from Amazon at times. Ultimately, where you put your time and energy at the most can often become an “idol” in your life. One that can easily be an idol is possessions or wealth because many times the “best of the best” or newest item is all over social media or our ads. It’s easy to see “influencers” promoting a new product and thinking you just have to have it. I’m guilty. In today’s society we are able to see other’s wealth and possessions more easily through social media, which can often influence us or stir up envy to have those things as well. 

One of our pastors once said that the money and things we have here on Earth belong to God, and it has been given to us as a resource- it’s not your own so don’t act like it is. I really like this statement because it encourages me to be more generous with my money instead of selfish. It reminds me to evaluate how I am using His money. 

The Bible says,

Matthew 6:19-21

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

I love coming across verses about possessions and worldly thing because it always wakes me up and reminds me of what is truly valuable. Everything here on Earth will pass away, but the one thing that will never pass is God and His word. At the end of your life, it truly won’t matter if you had the newest car, the fanciest purse, or the latest botox injections, because eventually it will rot away and you will pass away. Bleak, I know. At the end of your life what will truly matter is whether or not you committed your life to Christ because that determines your eternity.

One thing I’ve started to do is unfollow pages or people that leave me feeling envious of things they have. I used to check out all the influencer’s LTK and Amazon storefronts to see where to buy the items they posted. I was constantly wanting more of what was “in”, and honestly I needed none of it. Removing these temptations was very beneficial for me but I also work on thanking God for all He has blessed me with daily and reflecting on all that I do have verses what society tells me I don’t have. This, along with reading God’s word, is helping me to not give into the flashiness of today’s society and instead focus on storing up heavenly treasures. 

I used to think that following God’s will would make me miss out on all the “fun things” in life. In reality a lot of the things society deems as “fun” or “cool” actually leads to a lot of heartache and lack of fulfillment. I now see all the blessings that come with God’s will versus following society’s norms. I have a healthy and loving marriage built on trust, respect, and Jesus. We are abundantly blessed with our house, furniture, clothes, food on the table etc. We don’t have designer items and yet we are fulfilled in our lives. We have more than we could ever need. Ultimately, I’m learning in my walk with Christ that the norms in society and the things of this world will never satisfy us or bring us the fulfillment we desire like Christ will. Just read Ecclesiastes and you’ll see.

Two verses that really sum up what I’ve been convicted of are…

Romans 12:2

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

And 

1 John 2:15-17

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.

My goal is to continue to pray for discernment so that I can abstain from worldly desires and instead follow God’s will for my life because I know it is far superior than what the world can offer. 

These were very simplistic points I made, and there are plenty more norms in society that do not align with God’s word. Let’s be honest, I was pretty tamed on what I could have said. Maybe that’s a talk for another day. 

The best thing we can do for ourselves is to read His word and pray for discernment. Doing this helps ensure we are not falling into step with society but instead we are going against the grain. We are made new in Christ and set apart, although it can be difficult at times, it’s important to make sure we’re living out what has been changed on the inside. 

So I encourage you to ask yourself…

What has society been telling me lately? And what does God have to say about it?

Everyone is facing different worldly desires daily- take them to God and see what He has to say about it!