Walking with Jesus through Friendships

I came across this verse the other day and it was something I needed to be reminded of. Essentially, this verse from King Solomon is saying that who you surround yourself with is vital. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says: “Bad company ruins good morals”, but Proverbs 27:17 says “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another”. Whether we notice it or not, the company we keep really does influence us- for better or worse. The good news is that we get to choose who we let into our inner circle. On the flip side of that- we also need to make sure that we ourselves are good company for others to keep in their walk with Christ!

Since Devin is in the Army, we have had to move away from our families and hometown friends. As I’ve been adjusting to a new job and searching for a church and life-groups, these are the things that have been on my mind. Maybe they’ll help you too…

What type of people should we choose to spend our time with? 

Since I have been saved I have slowly been convicted of different things such as how I speak, how I act, where I go, and so on.  A lot of these convictions started happening when I was around others. For instance, I noticed that around certain friends I was cussing, gossiping, and putting myself in situations I had no business being in. As I started to read the Bible and listen to sermons, I realized how I have been acting was not honoring and abiding in God. I started to realize that God is always with me- and how awful was it that He heard and saw me acting in this way. So, I started watching what I said, how I acted, and where I went. I noticed that as I started walking with Jesus more closely, certain people I used to hang out with were people I didn’t enjoy being around anymore; and they didn’t enjoy being around me either. I didn’t want to do what they were doing, talk about what they were talking about, and ultimately I didn’t feel fulfilled being around them. I was conflicted. I wanted to share the Good News with them and show them that Jesus’ way is much better than the worldly ways. I felt like I needed to remain close with them in order to show them this, but that’s not the case. I’m not saying you need to cut people out of your life if they don’t walk closely with Jesus because then we would never share the Good News. I’m saying that there are different levels of company you can keep but with each one you can share the Good News. 

• First there are close friends: Your close friends should be life-breathing friends that help you along in your walk with Jesus. These are the ones who fill your cup so that you can go out into the world and do God’s work. These are the friends that remind me of iron sharpening iron. These are the ones who know your heart and what’s going on in your day to day life and are there for you. 
• Then, there are regular friends: These are people you know, can talk to, and might see daily or weekly. These are friends you might not be as comfortable/close with, but you can still have fun with them and share in similar interests. 
• Lastly, there are acquaintances: These are people you know, may talk to, but you don’t know on a deeper level. They don’t know what’s going on in your day to day life, and vice versa. 

What I’ve learned is that friendships can change through these different levels at different stages of life- and that’s okay! Ultimately, in each of these levels of friendships you still have the ability to share the Good News, because no matter what- these people see you and what you stand for. They know how you act, how you speak, and what you hold important (hopefully it’s Jesus). You don’t have to be someone’s best friend in order to show them Jesus and honestly, you can’t force someone to follow Jesus. Everyone is on their own journey and God has a plan for them. So whatever stage they are at is between them and God, all you can do is try to show them how He has made a difference in your life. While doing this though you don’t want to let people steer you down the wrong path. That’s why we have different levels of friends- maybe right now it’s best for you to take a step back from someone who you used to be closer with. Ultimately your relationship with God is most important, so ensuring you are surrounding yourself with close friends who help you instead of deterring you is essential. 

The close friends we surround ourselves with should draw us closer to our relationship with God. So ask yourself..

• What do we spend our time together talking about? 
• What do we do when we’re together?
• Where do we go when we’re together? 
• How do I feel when I am with them?
• Are there things I feel uncomfortable about when I am with them?
• If God was in the room with us (spoiler-He is) would I feel proud of how I was acting?
• Do they bring me closer to God?
• Does this friendship honor God by abiding in Him and His Word? 

These are questions I’ve personally been convicted of or have had to work through myself. Don’t get me wrong, I do not have this all figured out. I’m in my 20’s, and there have been a lot of changes during this time. So as I’ve changed, my friendships have too, and they will change again and again as I grow and life happens. The goal is to show others Christ no matter what level of friendship we’re at which leads to my next point. 

How can we be a good friend to others and show them Christ?

We need to make sure that we are also being a life-breathing friend to others no matter how close we are to them. I think the best way to do this is to look to Jesus as the exemplar. He was, and is, perfect. He was never quick to anger, He never gossiped or spoke hatefully about others, He was never selfish- He always abided in God. So, although it’s impossible for us to be exactly like Christ, the goal is to learn from Him and strive to be more like Him each day- and to do that we need to look into God’s Word. 

So here are some things I like to remind myself of…

Do not be high and mighty, have humility because God loved us before we were saved. He loved us when we were lost and deep in sin. He knows everything we have ever done, and will do, and still sent His son to die as payment for our sins. We should not think of ourselves as better than another because we are not- all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Who are we to judge or condemn? Only God is able to. 

These are Godly attributes that the Spirit produces in Christians. These characteristics are evident in Christ and we should aim to lead our lives with them as well. 

As Christians we have been made new in Christ, meaning we are now set apart from the world. We are in the world but we should not be of the world. We should not let Earthly/fleshly desires and ways lead our lives anymore. Let the Spirit guide you in the world to have good discernment. 

We should all know this one. Treat others how you want to be treated. Love them and have patience with them while treating them with kindness and gentleness. Have self-control, remain in faithfulness, peace, and joy. This is how we would want to be treated. We always want others to show us encouragement, love, support, and give us grace but often we are slow to give it to others- this shouldn’t be the case! Love others like Christ loves us!

Words are powerful and we need to be careful with how we use them. Be slow to speak. We should consider if what we are saying honors God. As well as, if we would say it to God or in front of Him. We will have to give an account of all of our words and actions here on Earth- will you give an account of how you built others up and encouraged them on their walk with Christ? Or will your account be that you tore others down by what you said? 

If we keep these scriptures in mind and work to abide in them, then ultimately we will be more like Christ. This is the type of friend I would want, so it’s who I want to strive to be. I am not a perfect friend and I never will be, but the intention is to grow in this area of my life so that I can help others in their walk with Christ while my friends also help me on my journey.

So are you a good Christ-like friend? Do you have good friends who encourage you to be more Christ-like?

Your answers may change throughout the years, and you may have to evaluate your friendships and move some people closer or further away, and that’s okay. Prioritize your walk and friendship with Christ above all and let Him help you with the rest. 

This post comes from everything I am trying out or striving to do as I go. I pray that maybe it will help you or someone you know along in their walk with Jesus.

Love, Nicole